Is Flat Earth a PSYOP? (Satire)

The evil Cabal must have been playing with an ultra-zoom camera like the Nikon P900 and discovered that boats don’t actually disappear over a curvature and that objects that should be hidden well below the curvature weren’t (e.g.,10 miles distance = 66 feet of curvature; 100 miles distance = 6,667 feet of curvature) – “Hey we can see a mountain 100 miles away that should be entirely covered by the curvature; let’s use that fact for discrediting conspiracy theorists.”

Of course, the evil Cabal already knew that refraction bent images in an arc over the earth and just had the amazing ability to trick us by making the world appear flat whether on the shore or at the tops of the mountains. Refraction also somehow causes the horizon to remain at eye level as the observer increases height but mainstream science hasn’t disclosed a decent explanation for that one yet for the sole purpose of building support for the scheme to discredit conspiracy theorists.

Similarly, the Cabal knew that gravity loves to trick us into believing in a flat earth because gravity (1) can automatically cause airplanes (and submarines) to dip their nose to account for the EXTREME adjustment for curvature, (2) can Velcro the atmosphere to the ground so that there’s zero proof that the atmosphere is attached to ball spinning at 1,000 mph and so airplanes traveling from any direction aren’t affected by the spin of the earth, (3) can eliminate any sense that the earth is spinning and twirling in space with varying centrifugal forces, and (4) can bend water perfectly over a ball. But when the Cabal saw that the ultra-zoom camera showed objects that should have been below the curvature, that’s when these evil men came up with the idea of faking flat earth so that no one would believe “conspiracy theorists” ever again.

The Cabal knew they could build a convincing case for flat earth because some people would foolishly question the magical and insensible abilities of refraction and gravity. Coincidentally, everyone was taught since children through media and school programming that flat earth was the most stupid idea ever and so it would be perfect to resurrect flat earth only for the crazy “conspiracy theorists.” But maybe children were brainwashed into hating flat earth for hundreds of years and every movie was required to include a globe somewhere so that people would develop a love for the globe just so the Cabal could later use that for discrediting “conspiracy theorists” – wow, they’re prescient.

But the PSYOP needed some serious work. First, the Cabal knew that gyroscopes were supposed to measure the movement and curvature of the earth (according to Foucault) but decided instead to design every future gyroscope so that every new high-precision gyroscope would show a flat and stationary plane. Don’t ask me how the Cabal managed to program every high-precision gyroscope to fake a flat earth but they did. It’s working perfectly as many flat earthers are purchasing gyroscopes to prove the flat earth unaware the gyroscopes were designed to give false no curvature/rotation readings. Second, the Cabal had to add some professionals to the mix. To do this, the Cabal managed to convince surveyors that they never had to account for the curvature by ignoring the curvature altogether in their textbooks and work – it’s called “plane surveying” just for that reason. Sure, surveyors like to account for every inch in a project, but 6,667 feet of curvature over a road project of 100 miles – that could be ignored entirely as the globe magic is powerful at making everything work out just perfectly. But flat earthers would be dumb enough to ask questions about it. It’s perfect. I don’t know how they did it, but the Cabal also added missile operators, pilots, engineers, snipers, and others, who should account for the curvature, to somehow proclaim that curvature and the movement of the atmosphere are never taken into account in their work. Or, maybe they just paid off these professionals (and wrote false text books) to lie about it and make it appear that curvature and rotation aren’t accounted for even though they really are. Yep, that makes sense. Third, in order to really make the flat earth believable, the Cabal got NASA and all of the other space programs to fake everything including all of the photographs of the earth from space. Maybe that’s why they faked the moon landings – so that conspiracy theorists could point out all of the fakery and logically begin considering whether NASA lied about the flat earth as well.

Of course, the Cabal has answers to (1) why the North Star has never moved in known history even though the solar system is chasing after the sun at tremendous speeds in giant vortices (while maintaining a magical horizontal plane), (2) how the atmosphere can parallel an enormous and endless vacuum, and (3) why the sun and moon appear local in weather balloon footage, but the Cabal hasn’t released the legitimate answers because they wanted the flat earth to be believable. In fact, the Cabal made some of the answers so dumb to these legitimate questions that these flat earth investigators would sense the huge problems and question the globe. As a final strategy, the Cabal hired a large host of paid-for propagandists (including upper-level minions such as Neil deGrasse Tyson, Stephen Hawking, Barack Obama, Kerry, et al.) to harass and make fun of flat earth on YouTube and all conspiracy discussion boards. Who would believe flat earth unless you had Neil deGrasse Tyson calling them threats to democracy?

Yep, flat earth is definitely a PSYOP.

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